Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Forward and Onward

So... Insanity lasted only 3 days. Rather, I lasted 3 days on Insanity and went back to trusty old Bob and Jillian. I told a friend the other day that it felt like 2011 would be a good year - full of promise and new, bright things on the horizon. God has blessed me with a part-time teaching job at a familiar school nearby, and there's a possibility of yet another p/t teaching position. Two of my close friends have had babies recently, so I'm head over heels with two baby boys who've stolen my heart with their gummy grins and their sweet baby smells. Don't even get me started on their tiny fingers and toes... gahhh...

I'm reading "Clean", by Dr. Junger. I'm hoping it'll really push me to healthier eating and a healthier lifestyle overall. I'm talking about mental, spiritual, physical, and emotional health- all of it. I may have been in a physically healthier place last year in Daegu, but my spiritual life and emotional well-being were in serious need of healing. Pastor Keith's sermon really challenged me - I can't expect to be changed and get to know God if I don't get off my butt and make some real changes and take an active role in pursuing God. In trusting Him completely with my life. How can I say that I love God if I won't take these steps? I can't say it. That's the sobering truth.

Lastly, I let myself be very vulnerable to a boy last year and in the process, was hurt when it ended. The aftermath was a festering and increasingly painful wound - mostly self- inflicted, I see now. And I thought I was over it, and over him. Until. He emailed me, wanting to begin an email correspondence. We've been emailing back and forth for a few weeks and I thought I was all right with it until a friend challenged me and asked if I were really ok, or if I was deceiving myself. Am I? All I know is - I refuse to wallow in bitterness any longer. Never again.


  1. Nice to see you blogging again Bonnie!

    I have been very intrigued by Dr. Jumger since reading about him on GOOP but I haven't had a chance to check out his book.

    Chin my up friend - I am with you on not wallowing in bitterness any longer. I am trying my hardest to do the same!

  2. I wallow in bitterness, too. I also frequently lean back to myself instead of on God. It's a lifelong process: this gradual understanding and experience of God's love, with translates into our love for Him, which then spurs us into action. You're on the right path, Bonnie. God will bless you. He already has by sending people to challenge and talk to you! :-)

  3. "Forward and onward" is a good mantra. :) Allow yourself some anger, get it out of your system, but don't wallow in the negatives. Easier said than done, I know, but like you said, "Onward and forward." =)